Thursday, November 11, 2010

How in the Hell Did This Happen?

Hello world!

All is well with me. I have been recovering from my procedure for the past week, nicely. I can't say I'm 100% yet, but I'm getting there.

So what else is going on....? I have a crush. Am I too old to have a crush????  Well there is this guy I really like, he is super sweet and handsome. He is caring, sincere and so lovable and I adore talking to him. The only messed up thing about it is, he lives in Atlanta....and that sucks BIG time. Whyyyyyyyyyyy? UGH! So we've been talking a lot, building a bond, a friendship and just learning about each other as much as we possibly can.

I never ever wanted to be in a long distance relationship because it's too difficult to maintain. I need to have him here with me, or will not work. It is VERY frustrating to not be able to hold, touch kiss, or even look him in the eyes. When we first began talking, I told him that. However, feelings began to grow and grow. The more I talked to him, the more I LIKED talking to him. The next thing I know, I'm thinking about him DAILY! I'm like, what tha fuck? How did I get here? I'm sounding like the Deborah Cox song now...Nobody's supposed to be here! The great thing about it though is that he feels the same exact way. He says he thinks about me everyday...We talk about him coming to Houston to see me in February, three months away, which is a LONG freakin' TIME. But he says he cannot wait until then (me either).

What really took my like for him to another level is when he prayed with me on the phone, the night before I was to be admitted into the hospital for my procedure. I've never had that before in my life. That meant SO much to me, I can't even put it into words. All I can say is, it was a beautiful feeling. Although we have different faiths (he is Muslim), I feel some sort of spiritual connection with him. I've never had that feeling with anyone before. It just goes to show that when you have a spiritual bond with a person, it surpasses any or all religion or faith. Our spirit has no boundaries and cannot be kept boxed in by a religion or belief.

We talk about a lot of things, and the conversation just flows, which was our initial attraction. We came to the conclusion, that the conversing is easy and comfortable between us. At the same time, it's frustrating.
It's so frustrating because we both want to be with each other. We want to be in each other's presence badly, but can't and it doesn't feel good at all.

The craziest thing about our relationship is we have never met....We got acquainted via Facebook...Go figure. He and I graduated from the same school, but he was three years behind me, so I never knew him then. When I was a senior, he was in the 9th grade at the junior high school. We became FB friends, and one day out of the blue, we started chatting about something. Well, the dialogue kept going and he gave me his phone number. We started talking on the phone and enjoyed it. This was in the beginning of this year, around February I guess. We talked often for a minute, then one day communication just stopped. We lost touch because he lost his phone and blah blah blah....Months and months went by and we didn't speak. It was no big deal, just one of those things that happen. I didn't think much of it, because life goes on. We re-connected in September via Facebook. He inboxed me his new phone # one day while I was at work. When I got off that evening, I called him on the way home. We talked for hours it seemed like, catching up on what was going on in our lives during the months we had not talked. We've been inseparable every since.

When we go a day or several days without talking on the phone, we miss each other. How does that happen?How do you miss someone you've never had or met??? It's bananas I know. It is hard not having him here. I try not to think about him so much and it works.....for a minute. I really wanted him to be here while I was going through my ordeal last week. He said he wished he was here with me. I literally almost cried when he told me that. My eyes welled up with tears...Okay, maybe one tear fell LOL! So I just deal with it whatever way I can. Until I see him, I'll be patient. He's worth waiting 3 months for...but NOT a day longer! LOL!

So we will see what happens and what the future holds for us. We do know one thing for sure, we want to be in each others lives no matter what. He wants to get married and so do I. Will he i and make it work? I am ready for a commitment and I will do what it takes to make it work. Only time will tell what will become of us. I may be speaking a bit prematurely, but I kinda hope he is "the one." I'll keep you updated! ;-)

Naturalistaglam

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