...or at least that's what I must tell myself. *thinkhappythoughtsthinkhappythoughtsthinkhappythoughts*
The holidays for the last er uh....5 years have been bitter sweet. Sweet because it's a wonderful time I get to spend with my family. Bitter because I don't have a man to spend it with and I end up feeling alone.
I don't even want to talk about it anymore....
Next topic: Men and their EGO!
Women have their ego too first and foremost...but a man's ego is the size of Mt. Rushmore, and once it's cracked, he becomes a different person. I experienced that first hand today.
To make a long story short, I have a co-worker who had a crush on me. We had been flirting with each other for the past two weeks. He's separated, but still married. I like him as a good friend. He is someone I can kick it with and be cool with. I like him, but not on "that" level, I didn't want to get involved with him. For one, he's MARRIED. Two, I love Michael*, my friend in Atlanta. I'd feel so bad if I started seeing someone else, and I have feelings for Michael*. Three, he is my co-worker...I make it rule to not get involved with co-workers. Been there DONE THAT! Not doing that again...It did not work out in my favor to say the least.
So I tell my co-worker that I do not want to get involved with him and he literally changes in front of my eyes! He was sooooooo disappointed that I wasn't feeling him like he was feeling me. I told him before I did not want to get involved, but he didn't take me seriously. He thought I needed some some "coercing." LOL...negative. I told him that if I wanted to be with him, I would. I didn't need any coersion. After that, he was done. He said he would be okay, but his whole body language and energy did a 180 degree turn. He was NOT the same person. He said there was nothing to say because he couldn't flirt with me? WTF? So your entire conversation was only flirtations?? So without flirting, we have nothing? Really? Okay...whatever. He shut down. I didn't know what to do, what to say. His ego was seriously DEFLATED.
He says I didn't do anything wrong, but I felt sooooo freaking awkward when we went to lunch today. The silence was deafening. I had to initiate all conversations and even that felt forced. I felt as if I was eating alone...it was horrible. He payed more attention to the t.v. than me. How fucked up is that? I know he'll get over it though. I'm not going to say anything to him for awhile. I mean, I'll speak and be cordial, but I won't visit him at his desk like I used to. I just don't feel welcomed by him. I find it hard to engage in small talk with him now....ugh. This is a prime example why I do NOT get involved with co-workers! Oh I already said that. My friend says just give him some time, he'll come around. I guess *shrug*....moving on.
*Names have been changed for privacy purposes.