I know...football season is over unfortunately, but this post is not about football.
In a week, I'll be the big 4 0. Four tens, eight fives, or 40 ones, 40 is 40 no matter how you slice it....and I'm good. I'm not freaking out, I'm not having a nervous breakdown, or melt down. No need to stress out about something I cannot do anything about. I'm going to be 40 and guess what? My 'Big Girl Panties' are pulled up and I will deal.
I refuse to do is say "I'll be 39 (again). I'm not going to playfully lie to myself and others, by saying, "I'm not 40, I'm 18 with 22 years of experience." F*ck that! I will stand proud in my 40 years of life! The calendars and clocks are moving forward and so will I. I just don't have the energy to play with myself like that. Seeing another year, reaching another decade of life is truly a blessing, no doubt, but it's NOT that serious for me to be stuck in neutral or trying to shift my age into reverse, just so I don't have to face the fact that I am getting older. That is so cliche.
What I AM going to do is embrace the notion that, 'life gets better after 40', (at least that's what I've heard.) I have accepted (for the most part) the fact that God has me exactly where I need to be at this stage of my life, whether I understand it or not. As tempting as it may be to think about, what I don't have, or where I'm not...I refuse to allow those negative thoughts pull me down into a spiraling abyss of worthlessness and self loathing. I REFUSE, I say! Plus, what good does that do? How does that serve me? It doesn't serve me? Exactly!
What I AM going to do is continue to live life by, not being defined or limited by any age, because it really is only a state of mind. I look forward to what God has in store for me during the next 10 years of my journey. I love the person I'm becoming, and I don't regret any of the 39 years it took to get me where I am now.
Peace & Blessings,